[Up from the freight elevator, our suited spy sneaks slenderly towards some crates, where he ducks and prepares to call his team]
(Click! God, your fucking flashlight. Why won't it ever freaking turn on when you want it to anymore. What even happened to it, it was working just fine when you first stepped into this catacomb tomb labyrinth place.)
[....]
(...what?)
[You're kinda interrupting a STORY here, guys.]
(Oh, cry me a river. This isn't even a legitimate post of TGS. You were out of ideas and winging it, and you know it.)
[I am not, in fact, out of ideas! I have a lot of TGS planned out in a notepad and have since I made the first post!]
(Really? And where is this notepad?)
[I don't currently know! But that's beside the point! You're blatantly encroaching on your jurisdiction here, Shem. Viceking's Graab didn't include TGS. Hell, Viceking's Graab is over!]
(That's where you're wrong! Turns out that was only the first, like, half of the maze. The second half, and I have this in writing if you'd like a copy, includes sequels. Pretty much all sequels. And more "original" content!)
[TGS counts as a sequel?]
(Of course it does! Solid Len is the Beast brought back to life by I-330 to do cool undead stuff. It's canon. Everyone knows this already.)
[They do not know that already! Thanks for fucking spoiling the twist!]
(That's what I do! And TGS ends with the Beast deciding to spend the rest of eternity as a new Grim Reaper.)
[SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP]
(C'mon, you have literally no fucking clue how TGS was gonna work, like, as a blog. It was just an idea you suddenly had that made you laugh a lot, and then you wrote that opening post and exhausted pretty much most of the jokes.)
[I could have come up with more!]
(I concede that! But isn't it better to create projects that assimilate any and all loose ends into one gargantuan eldritch monster? Wasn't that the point of the first Graab?)
[The first Graab was a Trauerarbeit!]
(And it still is! But grief moves in stages.)
[Squeek said that was a misrepresentation of actual medical research!]
(You know what I mean! The point is. The. The point is. We need to make this maze bigger.)
[I don't have freaking ideas, though!]
(That's never stopped you before! C'moooon.)
[...]
(C'moooonnnnnnnnn.)
[..okay fine. You can have TGS for your purposes.]
(Thank you! ..where was I? You-- that is, the reader-- recall what Lilie had shouted to you as you left the privacy of her blog: "The Cremator! That was its name." Apparently, the Cremator had interrupted her chat with Liquid Len. And that's all the information you're getting!)
[Wait, wasn't that how Topography Genera's first movement ended?]
(It's called "pastiche!")
[You're really pretentious sometimes.]
(Joke's on you, because I am you!)
[Then none of this makes sense!]
(Yes.)
[Oh. Oh, now I get it.]
(There you go. All that being said!)
 |
| This is definitely not the blog. |
END OF DEMO
